For those of you who have settled in France, what did you find most challenging about the move? How long before you really felt at home?

From a friend who lived there from a while, he mentionned the whole "life" was different; he couldn't pinpoint a said element, but rather as a whole. Bland answer...but I guess it makes sense.

I don't think that it matters what country you move to...living out of the country you were raised in is just weird to begin with.

I have to agree, it's very different to visit another country. However, to move there would just have to be a total culture shock.

I don't mean this in a horrible way but isnt that the point of moving to another country? Life is supposed to be different.
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I didn't mean it was unpleasant to have to make adjustments. I just wondered what the hardest part was specifically for those who actually took the plunge. Was it red tape over purchasing property, for example?

ninikins, that's not horrible...I just think for some people who decide to just pick up and move to another country they're probably in for a shock.

I'd have to agree, unless it's job related or maybe even some internet romance, the major reason people will want to move is for the sudden and gigantic lifestyle change.

I have lived in several countries and travelled in many more . I love change but I think the hardest thing is language, we have talked with french friends many times about this and no matter how hard you try unless you were lucky enough to be brought up billingual you are never, I think , going to be the same person in a new language.

Sometimes I feel like the village idiot when my conversation cant stretch to the same intellectual level in french as it does in my mother tongue!! I have managed one argument over politics but really you are stuck with more mundane matters in conversation and that can be very hard to learn to live with! Think of all theilly things you say to your friends during the course of an evening with them, now try it in a foriegn language where the socail signals are all different!!

Believe me its hard !

Its all part of the excitement :) new country, new lifestyle, adjusting and learning.
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In all honesty, it's taken me almost three years to start feeling comfortable here. But I'm not like the rest of you - living in France was definitely not my dream (not even on the radar!), so I wasn't fulfilling some lifelong wish by moving here.

Adjusting to French living IS difficult, but it's well worth it. I am enjoying the peace and tranquility I have found here, as opposed to the crime & violence back home. I don't hear about murders every day here in France. I read my hometown newspaper every morning online and it blows my mind knowing I used to LIVE in that environment! Not to mention trying to raise my daughter there (she is 14, & I have a new baby girl). Just recently, for example, my daughter's Godfather's sister and her 9 yr old daughter were shot and killed. My daughter and I both grew up with these people- they are FAMILY! Tragic, and it happens ALL THE TIME!
AMISH CHILDREN shot and killed in school! Unbelievable.
I love my home in the States, but I'm not constantly worring about safety issues here in France. So, when I get in one of my "moods", and I'm feeling homesick, I just think of Holly and Kylie, how much we miss them and how easily that could have been Mandy and me.

In all honesty, it's taken me almost three years to start feeling comfortable here. But I'm not like the rest of you - living in France was definitely not my dream (not even on the radar!), so I wasn't fulfilling some lifelong wish by moving here.


WHY, then, if you don't mind me asking, because, honestly, it wasn't on my radar, either. And are you happy here?

I followed my Frenchman here. And am I happy? Certainly not as happy as in the US - I had a great job, great friends, my family nearby, etc. I'd say I'm neutral right now. I've had a hard time making close friends, but after three years, I've gotten used to spending more time alone than I did back home. Finding a permanent job that one enjoys is almost impossible as well, so once (if) I get that sorted out, things will improve a bit.

You could have been me writing that comment... Eerily similar to my situation and feelings.

From all of the blogs I read, I think that applies to A LOT of women in our situation....

It's too bad we couldn't all get together in one place (physically) and just VENT- you know? Blow off some steam. In the 3 years you've been here, how often have you gotten home, if at all?

I go home at least once a year (every Christmas) and sometimes twice depending on what kind of vacation time I have (and how much money is in my bank account). :)

It's great getting home, isn't it? I'm going in 17 days and I can't wait, especially with new baby meeting family and all... that is IF her passport gets here in time- I'll sh** if it doesn't! Pardon my French (LOL) but you wouldn't believe the BS over that issue! We went to Amer Cons on Aug 16th for this- PLENTY of time and I am still getting the shaft when I call. It's "almost ready" is what I get, and "We're aware of your departure date". I'll just keep praying...

Oh, how exciting, I bet your family can't wait! I'll be crossing my fingers that the passport arrives in time!

Thanks, Sam, I appreciate it. I went home for 2 weeks last X-Mas, and decided it's much too hectic a time for a vacation. We tried to go shopping, which went from what was supposed to be a "quick run" to what turned into an all day event. This happened on more than one occasion. So this year, we decided to go before the mad rush, and we are staying 3 weeks. And I am VERY excited. What part of US are you from?

Hope you get the passport. We have been waiting weeks for our Grandson to get his renewed. As soon as it arrives we will go and fetch him to live with us. The State department are not too swift considering how few people in American actually have passports. We are in a different position, neither of us wants to go back. We may have to paper,rock,scissors the trip! It would be great if he were old enough to travel on his own.

For those of you who have settled in France, what did you find most challenging about the move? How long before you really felt at home?

i am most likely in the minority here, but the most difficult thing for me has been the food. i mean, obviously i love french food and everything, but i actually cannot eat a lot of stuff here, because i am, sadly, gluten-intolerant. which, more simply put, means that i cannot eat anything containing wheat or wheat by-products, as well as several other types of grains. you would not believe how many products here contain wheat (most of which i have found out through trial and error, meaning that even now i am quite often sick, since a majority of the time, they don't even mark that there is wheat or gluten on the food labels here). regular items that i could eat in the states (i.e. ham, sausages, potato chips, some nuts, soup, and various sauces) i cannot eat in france (especially when it comes to the stuff like soup and sauces, although it also concerns certain cheeses and dairy products, which are not labeled as containing wheat).

Just worth saying that people go through phases over the first few years :

Happy excitement
Grasping reality
Comparison
Judgement

Peter
(Been in my 4th country for 7 years)

The toughest thing for me was to be accepted. When I lived in Paris I wasn't accepted. I think it's a bit of the nature of a big city(or perhaps, it was me being unlucky). Now I live in the countryside nears Tours. It took me about 2 yrs for people to socialize and then trust me. But now I can honestly say that my french friends are very close, closer than a lot of Americans I know. I can't explain it but I feel it. HOWEVER:

There are times I feel like an outsider and even in the States there are times I feel like an outsider. The only people I feel comfortable with all the time are the Americans living here. I guess that makes sense.

Lisa
-been here 11 yrs now

The toughest thing for me was to be accepted. When I lived in Paris I wasn't accepted. I think it's a bit of the nature of a big city(or perhaps, it was me being unlucky). Now I live in the countryside nears Tours. It took me about 2 yrs for people to socialize and then trust me. But now I can honestly say that my french friends are very close, closer than a lot of Americans I know. I can't explain it but I feel it. HOWEVER:

There are times I feel like an outsider and even in the States there are times I feel like an outsider. The only people I feel comfortable with all the time are the Americans living here. I guess that makes sense.

Lisa
-been here 11 yrs now

hmmm, you know, that reminds me of something my boyfriend is always telling me, which is that the french are not interested in making friends, because they consider their real friends to be people they have known since they were out of the womb (ok, so i'm exaggerating, but all of my french friends have known all of their friends since they were about 4 or 5 years old). my boyfriend thinks it is totally weird that i consider people i have met later in life (as in, not at age 5 or in high school) my friends. he is forever telling me that while i think that my french friends are my friends, they are really just acquaintances, since apparently people that the french meet after high school are "just acquaintances".

i suppose this is not untrue, but then again, being american, i tend to consider people i get along with and see on a regular basis as friends.

anyway, i don't know if anyone ever read that book "almost french", written by an australian journalist who married her french boyfriend, but she also mentions the whole french definition of friends, which only seemed to me to confirm what my boyfriend has been telling me for what seems like an eternity.

Parisiannenewyorker,
I have just discovered a link where they discussed your condition and related shoppe locations, but I can't seem to provide the link. I'm really bad with this computer stuff. I'll keep trying, though. If you'd like to try to get there yourself, go to riviera.angloinfo.com/forum (I HOPE that's correct) and click on "shopping" (under Riviera Living). They talk about where to find gluton free pdts and just about everything you can think of. Hope this helps. Good luck.

hey ameri-cannes!

thanks for the info....i've been super busy these past few weeks (just started a job) so i only glanced at the website very briefly. it looks like it's mostly places in the south of france, which is kind of a problem for me since i'm in paris.

thanks for the info anyway and thanks for thinking of me!!!

it looks like it's mostly places in the south of france, which is kind of a problem for me since i'm in paris.

Actually, AngloInfo has different sites for regions all across France, including a specific one for Paris (http://paris.angloinfo.com/). If you click here (http://paris.angloinfo.com/af/268/paris-bio-and-organic.html), it will take you to the page with all the health food stores, where you will find an abundance of gluten-free products.

Actually, AngloInfo has different sites for regions all across France, including a specific one for Paris (http://paris.angloinfo.com/). If you click here (http://paris.angloinfo.com/af/268/paris-bio-and-organic.html), it will take you to the page with all the health food stores, where you will find an abundance of gluten-free products.

hi samdebretagne,

thanks for the info. i've already seen that particular page before, maybe last year or so. unfortunately, there just aren't that many gluten-free products here in france, even at the organic stores, although i have discovered a few places that do carry a large variety (unfortunately the best stocked places are not in paris, but rather just outside, so you need a car).

anyway, i guess it doesn't matter so much anymore anyway. i haven't eaten bread or pasta or cakes or whatnot for a really long time now (not even gluten-free breads or anything) and i actually don't miss it all that much anymore.

oh bummer, our local bio foods store is quite well-stocked. i can't imagine being gluten-free and not being able to partake in all the breads and pastries here, but i guess being lactose-intolerant in france would be just as bad, right?? :)

For those of you who have settled in France, what did you find most challenging about the move? How long before you really felt at home?
The most difficult part for me has always been the red tape. I won't go into the details since I'm sure many of you have had your own lovely bureaucratic experiences in France.

I don't feel "at home" anywhere anymore; not here and not in the U.S. But I am fairly used to life here now (one would hope, it's been 9-10 years) and know more or less how things work. My husband is French and I have dual citizenship, so I guess that means this is my home for quite a while longer unless by some miracle he gets transferred to the US.

hi!
im new to france and i like to stay here 4long time;
does any one know any chat room to meet people in france
i like to get some friends through chating if any one know please do reply me
ajithwing@yahoo.com
thankyou so much
akash:)